Only A Half

Subject: Only A Half Thu Jul 23, 2009 4:05 pm

She was half
and found her whole.
He completed her
heart and soul.
She fell in love
and thought it'd last.
But soon his feelings
were left in the past.
Crying her heart out
day and night.
She thought everything
would be all right.
But nothing was
ever the same.
The pain and tears
still came.
She's now lost her
smile and laugh.
And soon she realized
she was yet another half.
-------------------------------------

I wrote this when I was like 13. Three years ago! =o
And it's the only poem I've written that I actually memorized.
=]

Subject: Re: Only A Half Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:57 am

impressive work ms. bou...the structure is like my previous literary piece too...you did not use high-fallutin words, but then its still touching in a way, i think the poem will be more expressive if you add more stanzas...keep up the good work.

Subject: Re: Only A Half Fri Jul 24, 2009 1:26 pm

Thank you for your comment!

I always think my poems aren't good :/

So it's nice to know some people think they are. x]

Subject: Re: Only A Half Fri Jul 24, 2009 4:15 pm

I think it is a great poem and I remember it you wrote this poem in my notebook.

Subject: Re: Only A Half Sun Jul 26, 2009 11:20 am

heart with frost
a man lost
boy being bossed around

no one here
drinking beer
though lifes
not to last

for man cannot
suceed cannot
live and cannot last

» Two and a half years later...